Last month, I started high school. It's a whole new world for people like me. I'm a VERY shy person, for the most part. When theres more than one person that I don't know around, I feel like breaking down into tears. This is more recent than anything else, but it's true. I suppose that I'm afraid of social interaction. It's not that I just don't like it, I'm actually scared of it.
Coming from a 14 year old, that does sound a bit strange. If I know that there's a situation in which I am going to have to be social, I'll stay up extremely late in the night, worrying about what I'm going to say, how I'm going to say it, what if it doesn't sound right? I'll get extremely nervous about it, and end up stressing out a lot, and completely crashing after said event.
This started to happen when I came back from Russia last June. I don't know what caused it, but I've become quieter and more introverted. I'd rather stay in and read a book than go anywhere. I suppose you could say that I've been broken. Something snapped. It's terrifying. Look at my first post, and then some of the more recent ones. January 2011, I was a bubbly, giggly child. Now what am I? A cynical teenager? No. That's not what I'm trying to be, I want to be happy and outgoing again, but that doesn't seem very realistic in the near future.
Also, the song Iris, by the Goo Goo Dolls, reminds me so much of my sister, who I haven't spoken to in over a year. The lyrics are as follows:
"And I'd give up forever to touch you