Safe and Sound

"I remember tears streaming down your face When I said, I'll never let you go When all those shadows almost killed your light. I remember you said, Don't leave me here alone. But all that's dead and gone and passed tonight. Just close your eyes The sun is going down You'll be alright No one can hurt you now Come morning light You and I'll be safe and sound"
-Taylor Swift

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Marking A Year

One week from today, May 22, marks one year since the plane took off from Logan International Airport headed eastward to London. From London, the plane went farther east to Moscow. We landed in Moscow on May 23, 2011 and stayed for 3 days. May 26 we left the capitol for Kemerovo. We landed in Kemerovo at 5 am on May 27.
     I still remember the drive to the gasteenitsa vividly.  The long road leading out of the airport, twisting through the worn out streets of south-central Siberia. The streets were devoid of life, besides us, as it was only 5 in the morning. Halfway through it, I fell asleep, and woke up to the soft murmur of voices coming from around me. The front steps I had originally tried to go up were pink, and they were the wrong set of stairs. The next set were grey with a trash barrel next to them. You had to ring a doorbell to be let into the building. The grumpy key lady had to come open the door for you, amd stay there until we were done unloading the van of our 7 duffel bags, five backpacks and two suitcases. Our room was the last room on the left, and there were things sticking out of the walls with flower pots on top of them, some form of Russian art, I guess. I passed out on the one bed about 30 seconds after we arrived. I woke up at 2. I could have slept longer, but Anya had made an appearance with her friend Ira (EE-rah). We finally got to do some exploring of the city later that night. the amusment park down the street, the "mall", my favorite restaurant in the entire world, Chocoladnitsa, the River Tomb (Tom), and all the other wonders.
     Since I've returned home from the dismal place seldom on a map, the sadness has been overwhelming, knowing that there are people living in this place of coal dust and desperation. Knowing that it's been almost a year since I've seen my sister, and Anya and all of the others.
    A year since I've seen my sister. Has she grown? Has the mop of hair on her head become longer? These are all things that I do not know. Imagine your sister, brother, cousin living over 6000 miles away, and you not seeing them for the first 8 years of their life, and seeing them twice a whole year ago. Then multiply it by 10 and then you STILL wont get what it feels like. I can post countless picturees of me, my friends, my family, from the past year, having fun, being sad, happy and everything in between. But what about her? Her friends, family? I can almost guarantee none of that has been documented.
     There's also the sense of guilt that comes with things, such as drinking water. Most Americans don't think about it when they turn the tap on and get a glass of water. I do. I took a sip of water from the orphanage, and then realized my mistake when I got home. Giardia. Parasites. Most of the kids at the DD have them, because there is NO clean drinking water. I'm still careful with water here, scared to drink it, almost. I can't drink it if it tastes a little off, for fear of a repeat. There's guilt in everything, opening a textbook at school, putting my glasses on my face, getting changed for gym, playing my clarinet, walking the hill-less route from school to my house, in the nice weather. Things that a normal kid wouldn't think twice about, I cherish. Most kids in 8th grade hate getting changed for gym, its a pain and pointless. While I hate it, I love it at the same time. I HAVE something to change into. Some kids don't.
     On another note: Since it's been a whole year since Russia, I'm going to get back into learning the language. I speak it well enough to get by, and not order 5 coffees (love you mum!) accidentally. But I'm nowhere near fluent. My sentences are somewhere along the lines of "I be listen music. Me like horse." instead of "I am listening to music. I like horses"
     And finally, I will leave you with a question: Who are the waiting ones? Us, the family she will belong to eventually, or her, a lost orphan girl?


  1. Hang in there!!! Waiting is so hard.

  2. Thanks for sharing this Bridget!

  3. Praying for you!
    Today, our water was turned off all day and I was reminded of what things were like in Ukraine! Also, our daughter Alli, who is from a poor area in Russia was reminded. I had to use a bucket of water to flush the toilet down...At least we HAD a toilet! At least we had SOME water from our goats bucket.
    And honestly, I looked at the dirty water and thought about how MOST of the world DRINKS dirty water. We are so fortunate here, and we don't even think about it. A water leak, that will cost us dearly, caused me to be thankful for WATER.